Category Archives: Humor

UK energy agency wins ‘biomess’ award as major biomass industry conference is targeted by environmentalists

April 10, 2014. Source: Biofuelwatch

Awards1

Photo: Biofuelwatch

Campaigners have awarded the UK Department for Energy and Climate Change (DECC) the “Biomess Award” after coming out on top of an online poll coinciding with a major biomass industry conference in London, with Drax and the Green Investment Bank coming a close second and third place, respectively.

The award for forest destruction was given at an alternative awards ceremony held last night outside a gala dinner for delegates. After a last-minute change of venue the dinner took place at the conference venue, Grange St Paul’s Hotel. More than 40 people held banners reading: “Big Biomass Fuels: Deforestation, Landgrabbing & Climate Change” and “Big Biomass Is Greenwash not Renewable Energy”.

Biofuelwatch Campaigner Duncan Law, who hosted the satirical awards ceremony, said:

The people have spoken, and as far as they’re concerned DECC are the biggest biomass baddie. Through their outrageous support for the biomass industry they have fuelled a new market for burning wood, and rewarded irresponsible companies such as Drax and their pellet suppliers Enviva for clearing ancient forests and pumping greenhouse gases into the atmosphere.

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Filed under Actions / Protest, Bioenergy / Agrofuels, Climate Change, Ending the Era of Extreme Energy, False Solutions to Climate Change, Humor

Money-burning incinerator proposed

Note: A viable solution to end capitalism, or a devastating false solution to climate change?

-The GJEP Team

By Mike Ewall, April 1, 2014. Source: Energy Justice Network

moneyburningGeorge Washington Renewable Energy is proposing the nation’s first money-to-energy facility, right here in Dunboro. Critics call it a money-burning incinerator.

Nearly all of the nation’s used money is sent to landfills, but George Washington Renewable Energy sees an opportunity and hopes to generate enough electricity burning old dollars to power 50,000 homes.

Linda Thompson, recent mayor of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, takes offense at calling this the first. In 2011, Harrisburg was the nation’s largest city to go bankrupt, thanks to a trash incinerator that drove the city deep into debt. Her city lost out in a bidding war for this new project. “Harrisburg deserves to host this innovative incinerator. We have more experience burning money than any city in the nation,” Thompson said.

In 2003, when Thompson was on City Council, the city’s incinerator had already lost money nearly every year for a decade, but she voted to support the mayor’s plan to go further into debt to rebuild it, saying that God told her to support Mayor Reed’s incinerator plan. “I’ve consulted God on how to get Harrisburg back out of bankruptcy,” Thompson said, “and what better way than to fuel a new incinerator with bills saying ‘In God We Trust?’”
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Filed under Bioenergy / Agrofuels, Ending the Era of Extreme Energy, False Solutions to Climate Change, Humor

Council of Canadians sends ExxonMobil CEO Fractivist Toolkit to help in his fight against fracking

Note: Here’s an update to a story we posted a couple of day ago about Rex Tillerson, the ExxonMobil CEO who filed a lawsuit to prevent the building of a water tower for fracking near his TX home. Enjoy! – The GJEP Team

By Emma Lui, February 24, 2014. Source: The Council of Canadians

If you’ve been following the news on fracking on social media, you will have likely come across a big story about a lawsuit against fracking in Denton County, Texas. And a key spokesperson against the project is ExxonMobil’s CEO Rex Tillerson. The Council of Canadians wanted to provide some tips to Mr. Tillerson about how to fight fracking in his community. Here’s the letter we sent him.

Rex Tillerson
Chairman and Chief Executive Officer
ExxonMobil
Corporate Headquarters
5959 Las Colinas Boulevard
Irving, Texas 75039-2298

Dear Mr. Tillerson,

I am writing to send you a copy of our Fractivist Toolkit: How you can take action to protect water and stop fracking. With all the media buzz  that you are fighting fracking in your neighbourhood, I thought you might find some helpful tips.

The Council of Canadians created the Fractivist Toolkit for people exactly in your shoes (minus the whole being CEO to one of the biggest fracking companies in the U.S. thing). In it you will find a summary of what’s happening in Canadian and Indigenous communities (but then again you’re no stranger to fracking in B.C. and Alberta!). You’ll also find tips on how to stop fracking in your community like how to lobby your governments, how to use social media (although your story sure is making the rounds already!) and talking points (and your advantage is you have the industry arguments down pat).

I also wanted to bring your attention to the list of Further Readings and Resources. There’s a section on Information for Landowners that lists resources like the guide Information About Landowner Rights and Fracking in the U.S. that may be particularly useful to you. Continue reading

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Filed under Climate Change, Corporate Globalization, Ending the Era of Extreme Energy, Energy, Humor, Hydrofracking, Media

That was the year – Unlucky 13

January 7, 2014. Source: ETC Group

etc_groupUnlucky 13: Our 2012 year-end review, “193 Shades of Gray,” stumbled into the surreal, post-Rio+20 “Hunger Games” as FAO admitted that it has been underestimating the number of hungry people and overestimating future food requirements and, in a cowardly act of conspicuous consumption, the UN Committee on World Food Security failed to condemn biofuels; Warsaw withered the way of every climate conference since Kyoto; the USA, UK, China and Russia significantly underestimated GHG emissions while the UK, Japan, New Zealand and Australia concluded that they just don’t give a damn. UNEP first endorsed – and then disclaimed – methyl hydrates as a green, clean energy source. Haiyan/Yolanda, the most powerful typhoon ever recorded, struck the Philippines leaving four million people homeless, and a million Syrians bore the hurricane of refugee flight amidst the tsunami of winter snows.

Lucky 13: In October, a pro-Terminator bill came up for vote in Brazil’s Judicial Commission but was withdrawn; came back again at the end of December and was withdrawn again; massive GM maize plantings in Mexico about-to-be approved most of 2013 were halted by national and international mobilizations leading to a lucky legal ploy in September; that was overturned in December, but restored the same week; lucky us, Edward Snowden courageously told us more than we feared to suspect; Benedict XVI quit; replaced by the happy surprise of the year, Pope Francis. We had Nelson Mandela for 95 years.

2013’s Over-the-Top Understatements: Two demonic pearls from prominent Canadians: Toronto’s hallucinogenic Mayor, Rob Ford, admitted to the Today show, “I’m not perfect,” and Harvard’s hubristic professor, David Keith, confessed to news satirist Stephen Colbert that spraying sulfuric acid in the stratosphere (geoengineering) was a “totally imperfect technological fix.”

2013’s Idiotic Idioms:

·      “Unconventional energy,” or “unconventionals,” for short – including fracking, methane hydrate extraction;

·      “Oilsands” (a.k.a. “tar”) – the capitalist’s alternative to “alternative energy;”

·      “Distorporation” – The Economist magazine’s description of MLPs (Master Limited Partnerships) for the massive secrecy move by extractivist investors;
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Filed under Biodiversity, Bioenergy / Agrofuels, Climate Change, Ending the Era of Extreme Energy, False Solutions to Climate Change, Food Sovereignty, Genetic Engineering, Humor, Land Grabs, Rio+20, Synthetic Biology, The Greed Economy and the Future of Forests, Warsaw/COP-19, World Bank

Rising Tide versus the Avengers? The culture industry and the NSA

August 7, 2013. Source: Earth First! News

In a stomach churning development from the frontiers of the American media void, the culture industry recently vomited up a new TV show called  ”Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D”— a spin-off of the Marvel Avengers Franchise.

Among the arch nemesis of the protagonist organization—S.H.I.E.L.D.—will be cyber-terrorist group, The Rising Tide, whose logo looks surprisingly similar to the logo of our very own, dear old Rising Tide.

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The Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. are naturally a lot like the NSA. They wear suits and pose behind their own insignia of a sheer, steel eagle. The image they give off is very cold, sterile, and corporate.
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Filed under Climate Justice, Humor, Media, Political Repression, Politics, Youth

Are terrorists targeting forests?

Note: The only forest terrorists we need to worry about are the corporate terrorists like ArborGen, International Paper and other industrial timber companies who have been wreaking havoc on forest ecosystems for decades.  And, of course, the immense threat of climate change, and false solutions like REDD and California’s new domestic forest carbon trading scheme

-The GJEP Team

By Joe Hanel, April 26, 2013. Source: The Durango Herald

DENVER – As if 4 million acres of dead, standing timber and an ongoing drought weren’t enough to worry about as Colorado enters the wildfire season, a few Republican senators say it’s past time to prepare for terrorist attacks in the forests.

They’re making the argument to convince colleagues to pay for the state’s own fleet of aerial firefighting tankers. If terrorists ignited several fires at once, the small federal fleet would be overwhelmed, the state senators say.

Sen. Steve King, R-Grand Junction – the sponsor of the air tanker bill – said he is worried that large fires in the Colorado River Basin could clog reservoirs and cause a water supply “catastrophe” across the whole American Southwest.

“That is why that is a priority or could be a priority for those who wish us ill will, and those who would like to change the United States and the Western United States,” King said at a hearing for his bill.

Terrorist attacks in the forests have already happened, King’s allies said.
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Filed under Climate Change, False Solutions to Climate Change, Forests, Forests and Climate Change, Humor, REDD

Happy Earth Day, Monsanto. With love, the Mud People

Note: Orin Langelle is co-founder and Board Chair of Global Justice Ecology Project.  Please visit his new project, Langelle Photography.

-The GJEP Team

By Orin Langelle. Source: Langelle Photography

Photo: Orin Langelle

Photo: Orin Langelle

Big River Earth First! and “mud people” demonstrate against Monsanto’s corporate sponsorship of Earth Day 1990.  The person standing behind the over-sized check was questioned by a reporter from a NBC TV affiliate in St.  Louis.  The mud person interviewed replied in “mud language” which was translated into English by one of the protesters. The segment aired that evening as the lead story on the local NBC TV news.  Monsanto did not comment.

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Filed under Actions / Protest, False Solutions to Climate Change, Food Sovereignty, Humor, Industrial agriculture

BBC faces dilemma as anti-Thatcher song tops charts

Note: Rest in Peace, Iron Lady.  And please, please don’t come back.  We have a hard enough time trying to bury the lasting impacts of your policies and pursuits.

-The GJEP Team

By Raphael Satter, Associated Press, April 12, 2013.  Source: ABC News

Britain Obit ThatcherThe BBC is in a bind after opponents of Margaret Thatcher pushed the song “Ding Dong! The Witch Is Dead” to the top of the British charts in a posthumous protest over her divisive policies.

The online campaign to drive the “Wizard of Oz” song to the No. 1 spot on the U.K. singles chart was launched by Thatcher critics shortly after the former prime minister died Monday of a stroke at age 87.

As of Friday, the song was No. 1 on British iTunes.

Still, many people say the campaign — which aims to see the song played this weekend on the BBC’s Official Chart Show — is in bad taste. Some have called on the BBC to promise it won’t broadcast the song.
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Earth First!, Bank of America partner to offer EarthMother credit card

April 1, 2013. Source: Earth First! Newswire

Introducing EarthMother SmartPoints, the first card that  automatically spreads your purchases into direct action, non-violent civil disobedience or good old fashioned eco-sabotage. Now you can shop for designer brands and pummel the earth brutalizing capitalism machine.

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  • 0% Intro APR on Balance Transfers and Purchases for 18 months. After that, the variable APR will be 12.99% – 21.99% based on your creditworthiness and willingness to put your body on the line in defense of corporate funded wilderness mitigation areas.
  • Click “APPLY HERE” to apply online or call 561-320-3840
  • There is a balance transfer fee of either $5 or 3% of the amount of each transfer, whichever is greater.
  • No late fees, no penalty rate and no annual fee – ever, or until industrial civilization collapses
  • Save time when you call with fast, personal help, 24 hours a day.
  • .02% of all fees and interest collected will proceed the Earth Liberation Front
  • April 1, 2013 is the only date this card will be offered you fool.

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Filed under Climate Change, Corporate Globalization, Greenwashing, Humor

Video–Santa: Stuck in the smoke hole of our Tipi

Note: A little light-hearted fun for those of you reeling from the holidaze…

–The GJEP Team

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Filed under Climate Change, Humor, Indigenous Peoples, Videos